Hanging In There

Oh how I wish there was something fun to post here. We're in the dog days of winter, and that about summarizes our adoption wait. I can't say I'm enjoying this time . . . of course not the most difficult time to endure, but nope, not really a picnic. We're still excited of course, but I think we're both getting nervous about the when, where, how business. I vary between being baby-obsessed, to being somewhat cranky. We're ready. Heck, I logged more hours babysitting than anyone in Madison. I am a teacher, working 8 hours a day with kids. Little kids see Jon and they make googley eyes at him. I have researched the benefits of chlorine-free diaper wipes, and vaccination schedules. Holy buckets, are we ready!

Emotionally, however, I don't know if we'll ever be ready enough. I'm getting very nervous. I'm worried for our baby's birth mom--how can someone be strong enough to do this? I'm nervous about being strong enough, even though I know I am. Is our child ever going to really understand how many people love him or her? These reservations must not be mine alone, as I am positive all expectant parents must feel a combination of joy and anxiety. This parenthood stuff is hard core. ;-)

But I'm still so grateful for this experience. We both get that 110%. I have a new appreciation for women who fight so hard for the title of "Mother". Just when the anticipation of everything gets to be too much, some sweet soul will come along and say the right thing. It is almost spooky how it happens. Tonight it was the homily at church about patience and perseverance (not to mention that we sat behind a family with an adopted child--obvious by racial difference.) The other day it was, "how are you hanging in there?" by a friend at work. Last week it was someone at a hockey game who asked if we had kids. After our now routine, "No, but we're adopting" speech, the person told us some crazy adoption horror story (we hear a million of them.) But at the end, they said, "Congratulations. You will be wonderful parents" I will always remember the people who have been so kind in such quiet ways. Angels, all of them.